Milestones: Safah turns 5 and Deen turns 1

So this as many recent posts, is late. I have been swamped planning the October birthday events and traveling for the marathon Waseem and Mom ran. More on that later.

Safah turned 5 on Oct. 14th. She wanted to have a costume bowling party. She had a regular bowling party last year. This year though, she had more friends there since she had the rest of last year (after her early birthday) to make them. She was pretty lucky to have friends from her old school (Morehead) and her new school (Pearsontown). It is strange though. She is turning 5 while the other kids in her class right now are turning 6. I am not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, she is out-reading any of them by a whole grade, but she is also transfixed on things that happen when you turn six. Your baby teeth falling out, etc. And there are some things I just don't think are appropriate for her yet, in a year, I may feel different, and other parents of the 6year olds do things differently with older kids. Sooo.


Safah was Princess Aurora (Sleeping Beauty). So I had to be a queen, and Waseem got to be a King. Deen was an innocent bystander. ;)

Most of the girls came as Disney Princesses ( we didn't even have doubles...there are alot of princesses. Shaan came as a cowboy...though technically I think he was Woody from Toy Story. At least that is what he looked like to Safah, and she kept correcting me. "He wasn't a cowboy, he was Woody." I thought that was adorable!

And Deenie-bug turned 1 on Oct. 26th.

I made him a small cake for him to destroy ( a family tradition my mom started with me and my brother.) He became a very messy camper.
Stats: His head size had increased from 25th percentile to 75th. Everything else is holding at 75th percentile. He weighs 221/2 pounds and is 33 inches tall. He has 8 teeth, four on top , and four on the bottom. His excema has gotten much MUCH better. Except when he has a cold, then he gets a little outbreak.

He started walking about a week before his birthday. He saw Sameer walking and took more than his normal 3 -4 steps the very next day. Now he rounds the corner behind me like he thinks I am trying to escape. The speed walking is funny sometimes, you would think we had a drunk baby as he tries to balance and walk fast.
He has not mastered his shoes yet, but gets so upset if you take them off while we are out. He thinks that means we are home or going home, and he likes to go out. Alot!

He has gotten pretty vocal now too. He will talk to me and ask me about things (at least I feel he is) and he is very particular about the way things have to be. He wants real food, no more baby food, he wants a real fork or spoon to be used and a real bowl that we use. So basically, he eats what we eat. I just wash off the mirch and stuff from the spicier things and cut pieces up smaller.
It's funny, with the time change, he now gets up early enough to see his Nani before she leaves for work. So after a diaper change, he climbs into her lap and shares her oatmeal every morning. So funny! But he loves his Nani.

Poor thing got 4 shots at his Dr. appointment. The normal 3 and then his flu shot. He got a little bit of a cold the day before I think. We have all been coughing and cranky and he has a runny nose too, plus more crankiness and a low grade fever. But Mashallah, he is fine otherwise.
Mashallah, another year has passed and my munchkins are healthy and happy. Mashallah...Mashallah.!!

Milestone: Deen turns 11 months

This is Deenie at his sister's first soccer game this past Saturday. He wanted to get on the field to badly.

Well Deenie is 11 months old today. And the activities never stop...what is he doing?
Standing on his own, while clapping or holding something or his favorite dancing. He has another tooth or 2 coming in.
It seems like he is getting heavier everyday, his appetite has definetely jumped up and he is downing bottles like crazy.
He still wakes up at night. Though when he is not sick it is only once. Though I think he is going through a growth spurt cause he will screech and then cry and wake up completely.
He is also waking up earlier that 7:30 now, or at least in the last few days. Today it was 6:50...ugh.
He still cries when you walk too fast away from him, and he still gives the best hugs!
Hmmmm, he loves to hang out with his sister and cousins. He will crawl around after them all day if he could. He misses them when they go to school each morning, but loves to greet them at the door when they come home. (but they have to wash their hands first before saying hi to him...that's the rule!).

That's Ms. Pele to you.

Water break at half-time, in the Blue Sharks (Lil'Heels) game.

Safah's began her very unpro soccer career today, with her first game. The jerseys were called Columbia, but most of the parents (Ex-tarheels) called them Carolina Blue. It is funny how competitive parents are. Or maybe we just want our kids to thrive so much! The parents decided on Lil'Heels for the team name, course Coach Anina had chosen the Blue Sharks. So we got vetoed. Hey, they will be Lil'Heels in our hearts.

Back to starting positions after our Grant and Isaiah make a goal.

Ironically, Safah originally had to stay on the 3-4 year old team she was assigned to because they try to follow the age range. Even though I told them that she would tower over them and it could be a safety risk, if she collided with one of the "very little" three year olds. And they do look so little compared to her. But I let it go, she had to get the fundamentals first anyway. Well, Saturday comes, and Dakota's team, the Blue Bears, are short a few members since they were created last for the season. She is on the 5-6 year old team since she made the deadline. So my brother asked me to ask Gordon, the soccer chairman to let Safah play on their team. Her skills are similar to some of the 5-6 year olds who have not played before, and she was still taller than some in size. So I said I would let her only if she wanted to. I wouldn't push her. Of course she knew that it was Coco's team, and said yes, even though she had already played her team's game. So the Blue Shark became a substitute Blue Bear with Coach Ben.

Dakota, Sophie and Safah (The Blue Bears and the Green somethings?)

Then they played the Green somethings...and one of Safah's friends from Morehead (Sophie) was on that team, so she had a great time. The only bad thing. The Blue Bears were still short one member (for a 6 person team---one little girl didn't want to play anymore after her brother got hurt in the first few minutes of the game), so the 5 Blue Bears played the 12 Green somethings. They kept switching out fresh 6 person teams every 5-6 minutes, and our 5 person team was just sweating. Funny thing though, the Blue Bears won, 3-1.

Oh, and the Blue Sharks won too, by so many points to 1, that we parents stopped counting... ;)

Sooooo the sahoor that works?

First, I put that extra long so, because by bro-in-law thinks I use the word so alot. So I will pepper my statements and sentences with the word so, so that he can get a fair sprinkling of the so, in case he goes on a business trip and cannot read my blog on my sis-in-laws computer. So, hi out there. So much to tell you. Ok, so that is just a lie. Now, on to the real topic of this blog. Sahoor.

Trying to get the proper mix of items to eat for sahoor is a challenge. I am not a big eater of breakfasts, at least not that early. Anything before 9 should be cereal, and some juice. But that will not last through the day and keep me sated until iftar.

On the first day, I thought I would try a mix. Some scambled eggs, nicely spiced, toast (dry), oatmeal (cause it sticks to your ribs longer), a large glass of juice, a large glass of OJ, and some Kava (green tea). One word. Stuffed and barf. The oatmeal didn't taste right...too little sugar I think.

I surmise that you have to have a good combination of liquid...no dehydration...carbs (but not too many or you will be hungry soon...protein (that lasts long)...and something sweet (cause I want something!)
And it has to be food first. Don't get filled up on liquid first. Sure you will feel full, until you go to the bathroom for the first time!

So the next day, I kept the eggs, and the toast, and added some channa and nihari. Water and Juice. Brilliant.

Any suggestions?

Ramadan Mubarak!!

Ramadan Mubarak to everyone!!!

May Allah accept our fasts and prayers during this blessed month. Ameen.

On page 85 Mashallah

So, I am on p.85 of my book so far, Chapter 4, Mashallah. Those are critiqued pages by my group, who really need a name...maybe the "Wade Avenue six" or the "Triangle Pen Wielders" hmmm or the "RDU punctuation crew". Ahh no. I will keep thinking. I think I am the only one who feels the need for a name. After all, I am positive that when I am published, I will need to thank them, and not by each of their names!!

So Ramadan starts in a few days and as usual, I am not ready, food prep wise. Since I hate to cook anyway, and I hate to think about the menu everyday, Waseem and I decided to make a bunch of our favorites and freeze single portion sizes. It seemed like a good plan, but he is now out of town on business until Wed. and I have PTA newsletter committee meeting at 7:45 AM tomorrow at Starbucks, then lunch plans (YEAHHHH), then soccer practice at 5:45, then an Academically Advanced meeting at Safah's school at 6:30 (assuming she gets out of practice before then, and then it is dinner time... Anyway, enough whining.

So I think the Balziva is starting to get out of my system. It has been a month. And still some of the same issues, but hopefully it won't be too long or too many more months before the stuff works its way out of my system.

Deenie is getting soooo expressive now. And he has a little temper too. I took him to Jumah on Friday, and he decided, after getting use to all the women in black, to craw at light speed down the row. Of course this was during the khutba, so no worries really, but some sisters were coming in and praying before the salat. I was like a football reciever, spinning and weaving between and around women so I wouldn't walk in front of praying sisters. The second time, I let him go, and he was heading for the door, and one of the sisters who runs the Sunday school grabbed him and said joking "you want him back?" I was like yeah sure... and he was handed down the row again. Later she said, "My, my, he has a little temper doesn't he." He had gotten really mad and squirmed when she picked him up... woops...;)

Sick Babies

SO I have not blogged in a long time. The kids have been sick. It seem like they have been sick for months. First Safah had a cold, then poison ivy, then another cold. Deenie for a slight cold. No poison ivy, thank goodness, and then a real cold with croupe. 102.7 fever at the highest. And the barking cough scared the crap out of me.

My sick babies...they were really good though. Look at those feverish smiles.

I have just emerged from the cocoon of illnesses, finally saw Sarah (the baby), well and the adult one too ;), and Laiq, and Sheeza (that goes without saying since I saw Sarah---I mean she didn't drive herself...Sheeza produces talented kids, but there is a limit I think. lol.

We had a great time at Shabashabu...never been there before, and I really enjoyed it. But Waseem got a little sick from the bad beef he tasted (even that small amount--and even after he spit it out)---moral of the story? Always trust your nose! And the nose of your wife...I have a nose like a bloodhound...and no cracks on its size please.!!

I miss my peeps!!!!

That's all, just felt like I haven't seen any of my girls in forever!! We have to get together soon!!!

There is a gate, I promise!!

There is a gate, we just didn't put it back up after he woke up from his nap in time. usually we do it as we come off the stairs, but we both thought the other would be getting it...big duh, never assume.

And his cold has gotten worse...102...poor sick babies, now him and coco's little sister madison...
He tossed and turned so much, and only wanted me, so we both slept on the floor an a pallet I made. Humidifier humming along, and the sounds of Safah coughing in the other room through the monitor.

We have ordered a custom permanent gate to fit our stairs, it will be here tuesday! ;) The problem with rentals and exagerated stairs!! So no fear...he is not going anywhere near the stairs again!! Now if I can just go potty without a papoose...! ;) I haven't even put in my contacts yet. The school people saw me in glasses!!! ugh!! but they are cool new glasses. soooo.

Milestone: Deen turns 10 months

Well Deenie is 10 months old, MA. And he is sick with a cold that he got from his sister, who got it from her cousin who got it from her Dad, my bro. Did ya get that?

So to put it in context, he is being a little terror. And he won't let me put him down for a second. But he does have a fever and just wants momma's good hugs. ;) Who can argue with that?

Deenie stats:
20 lbs. He stood for a few seconds the past couple of days, then he gently lowers himself to the ground. I don't even think he knew he was standing at first. He was busy yelling and laughing at his Nani.
He crawls so fast now...no new teeth. He really understands the word "no" but he still likes to test me a few times to make sure I am watching, or to see if he can get away with something.
His excema looks better, well not right now. Whenever he gets sick, it flares up a little more than usual.
He gets really mad if we are eating and he is not. Even if he just had his own dinner. So we put him in his seat and he munches on Cheerios or banana pieces or whatever we are eating that he can have.
Still has seperation anxiety and stranger anxiety.
Still yells at people to get their attention.

And unfortuantely, is too fast and adventurous for his own good. My heart is still in my throat at this one, Deenie fell down about 4 wood stairs on Tuesday. The gate wasn't back in place yet and in the literally 1 minute that everyone had turned, Safah went upstairs to play in her room and he thought he would join her.
Next thing we hear was bump, bump, bump, bump, bump (five of the worst sounds I have ever heard and I will never forget). I scooped a crying Deenie up and just held him. I know I should have let his lie there for a moment to determine any injuries, but hey my baby was screaming. Anyway, we called the Dr. and they told us what to look for, but that is he stopped crying after a minute, then he was more than likely fine, just scared.
I checked for bumps and bruises like I would find gold or something. I had to go do grocery for dinner later and I called back like 3 times in 30 minutes to ask about him. MA he was and is fine. And he got all the mommy lap time he wanted!!!
But poor Safah, she was so scared that she hid in her room, so I went to find her and gave her mommy hugs too. Then walked her over to her brother, who was with Waseem. And she asked a few questions about what happened, then sat down and hugged him. I was already crying, but that just did it, so I held both my babies and watched some random science program.

And if there is a funny part. Deenie is fine MA, and wants to climb the stairs again. Such a boy!!!

Hormones...leave me alone!!!

****MEN...THE FOLLOWING IS A FULLY GIRLY GYN ENTRY. NOT REALLY FOR GUYS. YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN FULL NOTICE...;)****








Ok, gotta tell my horrible birth control story. Those darm hormones.... So I have been taking this birth control for about 4-5 months. It was the generic of the one I have taken for almost 10 or 15 years....and I never had a problem. The generic Balziva (the regular formulation is called Ovcon35) has given me soooo many problems.

MASSIVE mood swings ( the week before my period was suppose to start I was snippy and pissy--even to myself---that is bad when you are think...dude I am in a bad mood...why?, lethargia (I have been exhausted--last 3 weeks I have not really even worked out), bloating ( bad), hair shedding, appetite loss, contact problems--(I even got my eyes checked I couldn't figure out whymy eyes were so red, irritated, and blurry.), anxiety--nervousness--(I have no nails anymore), and my periods went from 6 days to maybe 2.

In short...do not take this. I did some research and instead of a small percentage of women having reactions, MOST have these reactions...that is the norm...they all said Ovcon worked perfectly for years for them, then within 2-3 months (like me) they had problems with the generic. Some had silver dollar size patches of hair loss....

so I took myself off of it Saturday...and today is monday...3 weeks before my period should start and what started to day? Hello....it is heavy and the craps are pretty sharp. But I almost welcome it. Better cramps that I can take Motrin for, than hair loss that I need a wig for right?

I may not take another pill. I started taking them to help with debilitating cramps while I was in college, but they have not been that bad for years. So why bother...Except the whole double digit weight of my kids problem. So what do I do now? What can I try or use that i would have to worry about more munchkins right this moment? Suggestions? ;) Some say the patch. The ring is not gonna happen--I know that about myself already. What else? An IUD....the doctor says only if I won't have another kid within 5 years. So that is not the answer. Give me your thoughts ladies...

9 Months and Counting MA

Here with his 5 month old cousin Zohaib. I promise Aneesa and I did not plan the outfits. We packed in different states, but Carter's style knows no state boundaries. ;)





So Deenie is now 9 months old today, and the one thing...or maybe 2 things that I can say stand out right now. We have had 2 and a half days of a pretty clear complexion (MA). Not clear clear, but clear for Deen, which is not that red. And he has turned a corner from being fine playing on his own, even if we are in an adjacent room, to crying the minute we even turn away from him. My feet cannot point in another direction, before he starts wailing. And the minute I pick him up, which is still no more than before, he buries his forehead into my neck and holds on tight, like he has not seen me if ages. He does this to Waseem too.
I wonder if part of it is being over sensitized with family this summer. We went to MD this weekend, and it was even a little much for me, since my sis-in-laws in-laws were also in town. That equals a crap load of people.
I also think he is use to his sister and cousin being around. They drove me nuts for 4 weeks, but they kept his entertained and ambitious to follow them around the house. So I am glad they are in school, and he is missing everyone! Poor baby! What will happen when I go back to work? My heart will break! I don't think Safah was this clingy. Well I know she wasn't. She could play for hours on her own. I had to check on her to make sure she was fine because she was so quiet. Of course she is not quiet now...or ever! ;)

Maryland on my mind...

Esha and Safah (the bunny?)

We had fun in MD this past weekend. A quick trip before Safah started school on today. Her cousins ( the 5, and 7 year olds) love her, and vice versa. They play, then fight, then change loyalties, then play, then cry when the day is over and one of them goes home. Next time, I think I will have to institute a group sleepover so Arooj won't cry that Safah is not goin home right then to stay with her, and Esha won't cry later that Safah is leaving for the night and can't stay. ;( But when the camera comes out, it is all smiles. ;)
Two of my nephews ( second oldest Jawad and youngest Zohaib (Z baba))


Safah chillin' at Dadi's house.

Another kid!

Scared ya huh???

It is funny when the older generation says you should have more kids when you are clutching your infant to you.
We are in Maryland this weekend and we have been told that 2 kids is not enough. My dear hubby reminds people that we have, or I have hecka big kids. What compares to my 1 kids is 2 of theirs. And the next could equal 3 or their kids....at 5 pounds each.
The funny thing is, I say I want more, but as Waseem reminds me, each kid takes such a toll on a woman's body. He sees it with his mom. 9 kids and your body (without GREAT genes and surgery) is never going to be the same. Joints, muscles, skin, shape etc. And that is with 5lb kids.
I would love to have another, not anytime soon of course since Deen is only 8 months. But in a year or 2 maybe. But then you have the worry, and Drs have said this that the next could easily be 13-15 pounds. That is like triplets, that is hard on a body, and I am a small person.
My family is absolutely against me having another. They worry big time that I will have worse nerve pain and pack pain that won't go away next time with the months of physical therapy I have done. Waseem says the same thing. But from the taking care of them once they are here point of view. Another girl and that is another shaadi, either way, it is another college education and activities and etc, etc, etc.
So what is left. Adoption? Waseem and I both say sure. I would love to adopt. I just wonder how other people will treat my child. Would I have to stop associating with some family and friends because they cannot treat that child the same as my biological ones. Cause I would kick their A** if that happened.
So hmmm. When Deenie is 1 or 1.5, maybe I will revisit this topic. At the moment, baby needs Dudu, and only Mamma has the right touch. ;)

Tired all the time?

I have been told that when people ask me how I am, I say I am tired. This seems to be my response most of the time they say. Ok only some of my in-laws say this.
But honestly when they see me, it is at 12, or 1AM after a day of packing and running errands to leave for a short weekend trip. Four hours of driving and dealing with kids and an impatient spouse ( "You and our four year old have to pee now, while we are actually stopped at the gas station"). So of course when it is 1 AM and I get in bed by 12 most nights, and you add all that other stuff, yeah when you first see me and I am yawning, I am tired.
So ettiquite requires I placate and say, "Me teek hu". But I say forget that. This is family, if I cannot say the truth with you, then why bother asking me and/or getting my response!
I could do the "proper thing" that way I don't get the tirade of "your tired, she's tired?" I gave birth to 9 kids. You don't know tired. To which Waseem reminds people that times are different than they were then. You had a village helping you. (you know the addage it takes a village to raise a child) Well that was true. And when they got here, the older kids took care of the younger ones. That was without learning to drive and learning the language. So you didn't have to interact and do other things. It was just the house.
So now, we do it alone. One or two kids or more, we do extra activities with them that they never did. Soccer, piano, ballet, tennis, football, swimming, golf, PTA, our jobs, clean our house, cook, entertain, visit people, see family---who don't live with you, have friends, travel ( and not just back home to the pind once every 2 years) all at warp speed.
So yeah forgive me if I am tired. With my 8 month old crawling over to unplug my laptop again, and waiting for everyone in the house to actually wake up (we were all up at 7:30, and Safah has eaten--I brought the cereal she likes, I have made Waseem and me chai (I miss my coffee--in the morning). And we are still trying to keep the kids quiet so that they don't disturb everyone else. It's 10:30. And we all went to sleep at the same time.

But yeah, Mei bahoot achi hu! Thanks for asking. ;)

9 month Dr. Appointment

So Deen had his 9 month Peds appointment today. As usual, I had tons of questions (freakin excema when will you go!) and they had tons of questions ( formula and eating patterns, what he is doing. etc).

Hmmm what is he doing.

Deenie is 19.6lbs. I know Sarah, he doesn't look it or feel it, but they checked twice. He is keeping steady with his height and head size.

Cruising, babbling, six teeth, still has excema and impetigo (scalp thing--not like cradle cap--that is associated with excema), crawling fast, eating table food--all that jazz. Hmmm what else? Knows his name when you call him. Making consonant sounds. Some seperation anxiety and stranger anxiety. He looks to me to see how he should react to people. But he still doesn't want them to touch him, even if he does smile at them. He will go to those he knows I like. He is really good at figuring that out!
Yells at people to get their attention, gets miffed if they look away from him when he wants their attention.
Loves to blow bubbles on my face and upper arms. And chew on my chin with those really sharp teeth!

Hmmmm I think that is all! My baby is growing up too fast!

Life with a Kindergartner!

Today begins Safah's Kindergarten career. Time for homework (Pre-K didn't give any) and more group lessons, science, social studies etc.

Summer was short! Here is my baby girl!

And with her cousin Dakota, also starting Kindergarten today!!! Coco had a few tears because she misplaced her lunchbag.

Milestones: Deen is 8 months and Safah is 4 years and 8 months.

I love that my little Safah loves her brother, and vice versa. Second to Nani is his sister on his list of people he wants to hang out with. I think I am rising on his list, but he will still yell at the two of them if they don't come to him.
Deen: So we have 6 teeth now MA! Four on the top. And they gave him a hard time, poor thing. The bottom 2 were fine when they came in, but these 4 required baby orajel and cold chew toys, and tylenol. But MA we are good now. Well he is, my chin is in pain most of the time. I worry that I will have permanent marks on my face soon, but I love the mommy kissies and chewies. ;)
Deen is still pulling up, and has started trying to use his feet to walk along instead of tap dancing.
Safah: Is MA, growing like a weed. I noticed one of her feet lapping over her sandel one day this month, and took her to stride rite, only to find out one thing I didn't know and one I did. My daugther's feet grow fast (knew that!) and one foot is a whole size bigger at any given time. 13 1/2 Wide on the right, and 12 1/2 Wide on the left. So she needs a size 1. Ugh....Once you get into the 1's, shoe makers assume that your kid is a certain age and that is not always true. So sandels and dressy shoes have heels on them. Not appropriate for a 4 1/2 year old.
Same with clothes. She is 4 not 14. I am not dressing her in the scanky clothing that they make for tweens these days. Even when she is a tween, I'm not dressing her like the anorexic celebutanes on the TV. Since she starts year-round school in 2 weeks, I am thinking about school clothes since it is still warm out. I got soooo frustrated at the mall, I left. Usually that only happens when I shop for me....;(
So I have a full-fledged Kindergartener. Where did the time go, when did she get such attitude? I met someone this weekend who has 4 kids and said that once they get to 5, something changes and the toddler is gone. Replaced by this grownup in a short body! Scary, and sad. I want her to always need me, and want to be near mommy.
;( Sad mommy time!

Up to my eyeballs in it

I have not blogged recently, cause I am feeling a little overwhelmed with stuff I need to do and stuff I want to do.

The Needs: normal...wash the TONS of clothes that seems to be generated between the 4 of us, figure out dinner (which I hate to figure out and cook for everyones specific tastes), vaccum, clean bathrooms...this is why I don't need a huge house. I hate to clean and ***k dusting.

And the wants: write, write, write; spend more time with Safah--my girl needs mommy time seperate from my errands (and there are always errands), not having to ask people to do things they should know to do already (we know that includes so many people--adults and children alike), house shopping (making sure everyone, including me is happy in a budget that we can afford.---difficult when not everyone is flexible, also not easy when my brother has just bought a 7 bedroom, three floor, three car garage, theater room, two bonus room two kitchen (the other is the basement apartment my dad will use). It is basically THE house, with THE basement in-law apartment that my mom would want.----no pressure. So now it is much harder for her to settle on less...with this blaring in her and our face. UGH.

I need a person to clean for me. Like just every 2 weeks and I can maintain and do the laundry, but that means I go back to work.

And I want to, even PT so that we can afford more house, and I have adult conversation and extra cash for my accessories...this girl gotta have her shoes and bags. Or full-time, but then I need someone to come in to watch Deen while Waseem works, even for a few hours. Cause I just don't want Deen in Daycare until he is like 2 or 3, and I just have to have someone watching the person who watches my kid. Plus I guess they would have to watch Safah too during her breaks from school, so that Waseem can work without too much distraction.

Plus IA I want to get my Masters. I don't want too much do I? ECU has a good program. I don't know, I see myself at such a crossroads, but I am spinning around in a circle like a dervish on Mountain Dew (the yellow piss drink...hehe).

Anyway, have I mentioned that I hate house shopping. It is beyond annoying to search and talk and search and drive around and look and think and talk and such. I have actually seen a few houses I like, but they have not hit the mark with the other adults....Ughhh.

I'm out.

Birthdays and Grateful days galore!

The birthday boy, Ibrahim--blue and green with cake. Usually shy, he was all too happy to give me a cakey grin!

We had a fun and very short time in MD attending Grateful for Issa Day and Ibrahim's 3rd birthday. The kids got to see old friends, and in Deen's case, make new friends. And we did too! Plus we got to see family. Fun time had by all..




My pyromaniac hubby was lighting the fireworks. Ibrahim's parents (in the yellow and green--were happy to let him do it....although there was mention of our kitchen he set on fire 2 years ago).
We were wayyyy out in the country in Columbia, MD. So these never even bothered the neighbors. In case you were wondering. Funny thing, the boys were wayy back near the cars, while the little girls were right up near the explosions. They even started a chant (I couldn't figure out what they were saying) and they were shouting "more, more."


Deen (the second youngest kid of 22 nieces and nephews) and his oldest cousin Umair (the college man). If I was ever looking for Deen, I knew where to look. He would be chillin' with his cousin. He even watched the fireworks with him, and was only slightly afraid. He just grabbed Umair's neck and held on for dear life, while craining his neck to see more sparklers and explosions.



Safah(4) with 2 of her other Divas. Arooj(5 1/2, wearing heels, argh they start so young) and Esha (5). These 3 cousins are inseperable once they are together. The car stopped and they were around the car before we got the doors open calling her name. Then they were off to the moonbounce. Here they are holding their pinata loot.

(This picture is missing Maria (the oldest and Esha's sister). Of course they fight as much as they play! But don't come between them. Esha still has not forgiven us for moving to another state! She tells me she likes Safah's old house better (she has never seen the house here....lol)

We're on the move we never linger...

...all we do is shoot the finger, One we're number one!

Well Deen is on the move. At almost 8 months, he has been crawling since he turned 7 months. And now he is pulling himself up on everything. We caught him trying to climb the stairs today. He was lifting a foot to go to the 2nd step. Scared the stuff out of me. I thought I would need a change myself. I never remembered gates having to go up so soon. Thank goodness we have them from Safah and Madison (she liked stairs too---silly moppet!) hehee.

And plants. We have plants on our dining room table and the filing cabinet and counters, why? Deen likes to attack them and trying to get to the dirt too. And shoes. His mouth or little fist is on everything. Game on momma, game on. Let's play see what I can get into next! Let the games begin.

So many plans, so little time.

I HAVE to finish this book! Cause a second one is trying to burst forth from my skull! But it is completely different from the first book. More non-fiction/fiction. I just can't think of how to start that one with this first one still so active with me.

One paranormal, one nonfiction. Argh!

The good thing is, my writing group, I should really name them...hmmm....I will think on that later. Well the group critiqued Chapter 2, loved it, but of course it is a 1st draft, so there was some stuff to change, but I was massively encouraged. Now here comes Chapter 3 and 4. Already outlined, and gotta flesh it out. If I can ever find the time. Summer break is rearing its ugly head!!

I don't want Safah in front of the TV, and to teach her takes my time to write and work away. Time I am already sharing with Deen's naps etc. And now she has ballet, tennis and swimming in the afternoons, so I have to change my workouts to earlier in the day or later...mommies get no respect..lol ;)

Anyway, why am I talking to you peeps? Gotta write!!! Deen is napping and Safah is playing and entertaining herself with her toys. yeahhhhh.

CONGRATS TO ASMA

Congrats to my girl Asma! Who had a little girl MA...It is a great thing. Sheeza's daugther (IA) cannot handle all the silly boys around here! She needs a partner in crime!!

Summer is here...what do we do with it?

Well summer is here. Safah is out of school until her new year-round school begins in July. Kindergarten. Wow!


First first day of school back in August 2006...



Her last day today in June 2007...

How much she has grown MA.

So now begin the summer of activities. Hmmmm. What do we do that is cool and not too expensive. Well, I have a couple of ideas. Free daytime movies for kids at Northgate, ballet class, maybe piano, definetely tennis, and some swimming lessons for her and Deen. Reading, reading, reading...practicing writing (reports on trips to places). I figure 1 big place per week. Museum or something like that. Things we could not do during the year unless we waited until the weekend.

Then there are the fireworks in July, which we can plan for properly this year. Whoa! I just made myself tired. And we only have 6 weeks.

Funny thing...

Funny thing...and very sweet! The best way for Deen to go to sleep, especially when he is fussy, is still in my arms facing me like he is breastfeeding, but with the bottle in his mouth. His little arm hugging my back, and his other hand resting on my cheek, chin or chest. His eyes looking into mine, trying to read the world ahead of him in my dark orbs. I miss the bond of giving him biojuice.

Safah was stubborn after her time in the NICU---nothing but bottles of breastmilk for her, and Deen(since he was also introduced to the bottle because of an extended hospital stay) made the choice to wean himself at 3 months. I don't think he was getting all that he needed from the beginning. Even with me pumping to increase my production and taking Fenugreek. He just wasn't into it.

In retrospect, I think my body just couldn't keep up with the demand, since we got off to such a rocky start, and since he was a big baby! Big 12-pounders gotta eat! ;)

Gotta love that hand on your face. Except when I forget to cut his nails. Then he digs in because he can....Ouch!

So nice I had to say it twice...I'm not pregnant. Thanks

No, I am not FREAKIN' pregnant. Field Day today at Safah's school. My job, face painting. And one mom, who knows that I have had my Deenie-boy, had a complete mental fart and said as she offered me a seat. "Yes, pregnant mommas should get a seat."

I, of course, quickly and with a laugh corrected her. "Ohhh nooooo, he is at home with his Papa." Laugh, laugh. It took a second for her to process, and then she said..."oh no, I meant new mommies have to sit down." hmmm. Either way, you are saying I am a fat ass and you cannot even subconsciously tell the difference. Nice, thanks. And granted, this is not a small woman. More like Oprah circa 1989. Her workout routine is a self-admitted---eat what I want, I don't like exercise---plan.

What makes it worse, the Art teacher, who was sitting there during the whole exchange, must have dozed off at some point, because ten minutes later in a lull between kids, she asked with complete sincerity, "So when are you due?" Mind you I have been sucking my gut in for the last 10 minutes. Now I am thinking, it's 90 degrees outside, need to breath, it's freakin' hot, whatever, let it all hang where it will.

And this is on the heels of getting pictures from Safah's teacher from her classroom birthday partythis past October, 2 weeks before Deen was born. OH MY DOG I was huge. Even seated, my belly was almost out to my knees. What the heck was that about?
After seeing that I have been thinking, wow, I am doing pretty good. Looking much smaller than seven months ago, right?
NOPE...I have just picked up pictures from our trip to the cottage this Memorial Day weekend, and who was the beached whale? That would be me, trying to eat small children it seems, with a smile on my face!

From these fantastic days and evidence, I have learned a few things:
1. OH MY GOSH I WAS HUGE...WHY DIDN'T I SIT MY A** DOWN...My hips and pelvis are HATING me!!! If they could move to another address (body) they would! No notice, no last months rent.
2. People have GOT to STOP looking at celebrities as a clue to how fast they should slim down...it isn't gonna work like that.
3. OH MY GOSH I WAS FREAKIN' SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICKEXPEIALIDOSHIOUSLY HUGE!!!!!! Say it with me people. Let's make it a song that Akon can sing with Gwen and the Harajuku girls.
4. I don't think I will ever see the body I had before Deenie-poo. I think I can kiss it goodbye.
5. SEE 1 and 3, SAY IT OUT LOUD OUT YOUR CAR WINDOW to passing pedestrians, try to make them jump in fright as you say it. They probably will anyway!
6. To say this mantra....It takes time, it takes time, it take time, and my sanity, and my last nerve, and my raisenettes, and my Coke, and all my free time!!!

Arghhh!

Houston, we have another tooth.

MA, Deen's second tooth sprouted. He has started doing this tongue clicking thing. Trying to sweep his tongue across the teeth and then sucking on them. And he constantly chews on his finger now. I can't wait until that toothy grin is in IA.

Now if we could get that excema under control or just make it go away. Poor munchkin, sometimes he scratches, sometimes it seems like he cannot tell it is there. And this dry, hot weather is not helping! Argh!

Houston, We have a tooth...

...Or the top edge of one at least. At first I thought Deen was holding food in his mouth, extra oatmeal or something, but then he started gnawing on my chin per usual and Ouch! What the heck was that? After I pried his mouth off me, and stopped him from trying to suck on my finger, I found it. Pay dirt. No more mommy chew for you boy! Thank goodness he weaned himself, I was potentially worried about handling that if the time came. Woohoo bottles are great! I gotta save these poor abused biojuice holders somehow...I swear even now they are deflating. I don't want to look like I have been in the bush of Africa all my life or like I am 80!

No Pity Allowed...At least for the next few moments!

• To see what this is a response to, you have to go to Sarah's blog...you can also read this response there. I just felt really vehement about it so I wanted to put it here!:

Everything you said Sarah, and add another 5 pounds.

Even with my trainer---who promises that she can see results, and that I have lost some fat and gained some muscle---the scale is telling me a tale of only a 2lb loss. Why do I even bother working out like a mad woman?

I ask myself that daily, but then I also know that if I don't get this off, 1. I really can forget having a 3rd (with my luck they will come out walking) and 2. I am just setting myself up for health problems.

And I always remind myself of these facts. I was always curvier than my sister-in-laws and most of my friends, even at my "great" weight, that I cannot compare myself to anyone (I need to write that on my forehead in permanent marker) and that it does take time, and time, and time, and freakin' time.

Unless I want to ignore my munchkins and live in the gym, I will have to observe a zen-like patience that would make a monk jealous!

And finally, You look hot! You know you do!...Don't listen to family or friends even...or those Aunties who say (oh your still so big, your baby is pretty old now right--yes I did get that from one Auntie here).

And when we are once again hot enough (for ourselves and no one else---expect maybe our hubbies) we will illicit jealous stares from other women and some men!!...cause we will be MILFs...yep! that is my goal.!

I love going to the cabin!

I love cottaging, the Canadian version of the word, not the U.K. version or even the Australian version. Thanks to Sheeza (thanks girl), I have to moderate my love of cottaging. Two guys in a bathroom, gross for so many reasons. I mean least of all A BATHROOM. But I guess it takes all kinds of people and places for people to be (that kind of happy!) ;)

So I love cottaging, or better yet, I love to go to on vacation to the cabin in the MD woods. (Is there anything cheeky about that???? I hope I didn't just say I love to watch rhinos getting crazy! Argh!

I Love Cottaging!

I love cottaging. We rented a cabin on St. Mary's Island in MD. A small place with like only 8-10 cottages, only 2 big ones, and camp grounds. They even have valet camping (you can rent their tent and they will set it up, and build your fire.

I know cottaging it is such a Canadian term, Sheeza and my sis-in-law Rizwana can appreciate it, being Canadians. But we had a blast this Memorial Day weekend.

Deen took off crawling for real, was introduced to a really big body of water, and his cousins. Safah got to see her MD girl cousins with her cousins from NC, and they all played well together (sometimes...the typical, I am not your best friend right now sort of thing.) I keep telling all of them, you are cousins that is better than best friends. But 5 little girls cannot be told anything.

We swam, played volleyball, fished, grilled out, cooked in (desi style and American food) had bonfires, smoked hooka--well not everyone!

The cabin slept 5 families, so we had like 10 adults and 10 kids...a good number. Whose up for a fall cottage trip? We can rent the cottage that sleeps 24!!

Biting style

Well as you can see, I totally bit the lilypie age counter from Sarah. Thanks girl I thought it was soooooo cute, I had to use it!

Milestones: Deen is 7 months, Safah is 4 years, 7 months

Does the desire to run after a sibling or cousin make an infant want to move sooner? I don't know about that, but Deen has taken off. Literally. This weekend, while cottaging in MD, he took his shimmy and made it a fully realized crawl. I am as proud as punch, and worried about every toy Safah has that has small parts. The reality of having an older sibling. Their toys are vastly different! Barbie with tiny shoes, and hair brushes, etc. Argh!!!! Not in the mouth please!!!

The other bad thing. Hardwood floors. So we got these baby kneepads, especially made for babies on hardwood. They are small, and don't bother him. But you know, I sort of worry about all of these gadgets that are meant to help us make things easier. Are we getting soft? Maybe, maybe not!

Frito Lay and porcine enzymes...

So, I got this email about Doritos and Cheetos. Has anyone heard about pork enzymes. I will highly disappointed, Safah loves Cheetos!!

I am always leery of emails claiming things so I called Frito Lay myself. They have a kosher list, but that is strict and different from porcine enzymes. So I got this link to their site after I called them. Everything on this list is cool to eat.

http://www.fritolay.com/fl/flstore/cgi-bin/ProdDetEv_Cat_306_SubCat_351852_NavRoot_361689_ProdID_564690.htm

Or just go to Frito lay, to the products and promotionslink and then the health and wellness, then the ingredient concerns link. The link to items without porcine enzymes is at the end of the section I think.

I am happy that someone thought to ask, and overwhelmed by the list. Frito-lay makes tons of products.

Cousin Zohaib Visits from the ATL

Cousin Zohaib (Z) came for a visit from Hotlanta. Deen and Safah were happy to see him and their Pupho Aneesa and Uncle Rashid. Safah I believe will be tall like Aneesa who is I believe 5'10". IA she can impart some helpful tips to her niece, who lubs her sooooo much.

The boys chilled with each other, and then ignored each other. Typical men? Aneesa, Deshelia and I took the girls (Safah, Dakota and Madison) to see Shrek the Third. A good mommy outting and popcorn, was had by all!!

We also got a chance to take them to the Museum of Life and Science. Safah was thrilled of course, but a little scared about the butterfly house. The boys just sweated, so we didn't stay too long.

By the way, my sis takes kick a** live action pics. Look at those freakin butterflies. The top one was beating its wings and fanning the one on the leaf for like ten minutes. Oops, did we capture some butterfly Barry White hankypanky? Yeah baby...

Excuse my absence...

Please excuse my absence, as I have been overwhelmed with...well...life. That might sound bad, but not so much. One, I have enjoyed great events with friends. Girl's nights (those were few in MD...cause everyone was sooooo far away from each other); Guy's nights (they get out of our hair and have some fun); GWEN STEFANI (need I say more?); great writing group (finally getting my book on track! the good and the bad of that); and just hanging with the fam (shootin' the s***).

There is too much to say at this moment, since I think Deenie is getting sick, and I just got back from working out. Dishes are done, bottles made, Dancing with the stars watched...some of it anyway, and Safah cleaned up and put to bed... time to fold some clothes too...my brain is fuzzy!

Musa visits Deen and Safah

Ayesha and Musa came to visit recently. I have not seen Musa since he was like 3 months old. Safah always talks about him, so she was sooo surprised to see him at our house with Auntie Ayesha when she came home from school.

Musa is walking MA and Deen just stared at this new person close to his size. lol Musa was content checking things out around the house and playing with Safah and her toys. Possible blackmail pictures for a rishta or a wedding reel. How horrible are we as mothers, we are planning embarrasing shots of them for later. ;) HEY we have to have some fun!!!

Milestones: Deen is 6 months, Safah is 4 years and 6 months

Deen turns 6 month old. This is a late post I know. I wish I could put this in its proper order. If someone knows how, please let me know. Deenie Beanie stats: 18.5 pounds. Now up to 50 percentile for head, up from 25. Height and weight still at 50 percentile. Half of what Safah was still. She was always 100 percentile for everything. Though it is strange, I see no difference in their sizes. Safah looked to be the same size at 6 months and I thought the same weight, but she was already 20-22 pounds at 6 months. Hmmm. They both are out of their clothing size though. Deen is in the top size of a 9 months and the bottom of a 12 month depending on the clothes maker. Safah was that way as well.

Safah turned 4 years and 6 months this month (April). So 4 and 1/2. She is still 100 percentile, wearing a size 10, with a great 13 wide shoe. She is actually the same height or taller than her 5 and 6 year old classmates and cousins, so I have to remind people and myself that she is 4. Sort of annoying because people make assumptions about her. Even other parents at school ask, oh what 1st grade teacher is she going to have, etc., was she invited to that birthday sleepover. Nooo, dude she is 4. Number 1, a sleepover for a 5 year old, hmm no. Number 2, she doesn't even sleep over at all of her cousins houses by herself yet. Only my brother's house, and we live 3 minutes away for the inevitable phone call, "I wanna see you, come over here. I need a hug goodnight, I was crying and I am sad." CAUSE she is 4. ;) I always have to remind them that she is in Pre-K not K. Their reactions are always priceless, "Wow, she is tall. Is her father tall?" Cause I am such a shorty...It is not my fault that she is tall and well rounded and articulate and mature for her age, MA, MA, that is how she is naturally and I will not let anyone lump her into some generic box that they feel more comfortable in. They cannot compare their kid's development to mine! Ok enough ranting...;)

Anyway, summer is here and it is time to think about summer activities...what to do with a 4 year old and an infant. Who knows. Welcome to the soccer mom membership!!!

Germs

Save me from germs. I feel like I need to vacuum the very air in my house. I am in a purpertual state of nursing. First my mom, who is MA never sick, gets a stomach virus. She is home for 2 whole days from work. (In the 22 + years she has been a teacher, she has NEVER taken a sick day). Not because she shoulders through the cold, but because she is never sick. Had to take Safah to school and get her ready (mom and I usuallyu share this cause she teaches at the same school) and I was still getting up with Deen at night. Hubby had a slight cold. ( He also never gets sick, and has been getting these random viruses I guess from Safah.)

Then last week Safah my dear munchkin gets the trifecta of germs. An ear infections in both ears, the flu and pink eye. A certain type of eye/ear flu was going around. So she and Deen had to go on antibiotics (he had infected excema on his face...it just would not go away.) She home Mon- Wed. And of course 4 year olds cannot stay in bed or slow down like normal people. SO day 1 and 1/2, had her bouncing off the walls, while Deen wailed. No sleep for momma.

NOW my poor hubby has the highly contagious Norovirus which is closing whole schools down in Wake and Hyde counties. Safah's school has at least 6 kids absent in each class, and now I think it is getting to teachers. SInce Monday, he has been in bed on clear liquids. Any one ever seen my hubby...he is a big guy, and clear liquids means weak hubby. So I have to keep him upstairs in the guest room away from everyone. Lonley nights 8-( and still watch the little munchkin and get safah off to school, and take the baby cause he cannot stay with his papa cause he cannot touch him.

It's like he is on a business trip, but I have to take him to his meetings, and feed him. Plain rice and broth. How strange is that. Veggie dish for mom each night, meat for everyone else usually and now an invalid meal for him. Do you know how hard it is to make invalid food? What can they tolerate and still taste...I mean GEEZ he is desi ( he had spices in his baby milk----true since he was breastfeed. hehhe lol.)

Nurse Nura out...Deen is ready to eat, and safah needs a snack (she has been up since 6) and I need to check on the hubby who has slept like 15 hours off and on. Hmmm I think there are Dr. appts today, Safah and Hubby...I need coffee!

Comedy clubs

So for our anniversary, we went to a comedy show. And of course the three comics (Caucasian) all touched on terrorism. But two of them just seemed racist to me. Is that comedy. The rest of their shows are funny. And I understand comedians are usually well read, but they seem to dumb down the joke for I guess dumb people. One comic just said, sorry if you are not white, I think you are a terrorist. WHAT? Even as a joke (and it is not because most jokes are based on truth) it is not funny.
I have never felt self conscious about being Muslim or ethnic (whatever ethnicity people think I am) but all of a sudden I felt self conscious and a little pissed that people are not more educated!
I saw a great author on "The Daily Show." This English guy, who knew the history of America and our policy and internal civil battles better than anyone. And he said, you guys don't know your history. You repeat it, rewrite it, forget it. That is soooo true. So what do you do except b**** about it. I am going to read. Why heck it will IA make me a better writer too, but we do need to know our history. We need to know how our Middle east policy (even back during the civil war era---which we did have) effected our nation. The guy mentioned that we would send barrels full of "something" to the Middle east, they would empty them and fill them with spices, or something and that would go to the Orient, they would empty them and fill them with tea, and send them back to us. (Even then we had a vested interest in what other countries were doing and how it effected us.) And we manipulated them even then. So how many people know this...I don't remember that in my history class ( or much of anything important).
My point. Gosh we need to, as a nation, get our heads out of our butts and learn more about the world than the name of Brangelina's next kid or what celebrity is going into rehab!! we need to learn more about out fellow man and woman and how we are more alike than we know!!!
Ugh!

Anniversaries...

I think my hubby is rubbing off on me. This weekend marks our 7th anniversary (MA), and I am just happy spending time with him without the pomp and circumstance that people press on the day. I don't expect big gifts, or a gift at all ( I like long range gifting--like big jewelry). He does not expect a big gift, or a gift at all, he is not a gifter...that is why I get the long range gift ( my choice, my gift to me from me (from him 9-) ).
So is it really a change in me, or me just feeling that our time spent together alone ( hello mother of 2) is more important than gifts or big activities. Who knows. But I feel great that our evening will be like us a compromise, or us wanting the other to have fun too. A little silliness for me, and comedy for him, plus food for both which is never bad! That's about the best evening...and it will be early, so we can still chill with our kids...and get to sleep early ( keeping my fingers crossed!)
Seven years (eight if you count the months we were engaged and planning the wedding--seeing each other only 3 times before being engaged.) two kids, small moves all over Maryland, big moves, from NC and back. We picked up a grandmother, lost a cat, everyone but me wants a new one...(more the clean up than sentimental).
I can say, even as I pull my hair out, that I wouldn't trade this guy. I'll keep him forever ( or for as long as I can (IA). And I'll love every stinking minute of it! 8-)

NC Snowwww Day...

Ok is it normal for NC to have snow two days after the temp read 73 degrees? And before MD and parts of VA. Freaky right? Thursday we had about an inch. It was Deen's first snow period and Safah's first in NC. She has been wishing for snow for weeks. Ever since it got a little cold here. And now she has it. We went out on the deck and made a small pitiful little snowman! And I let her throw snowballs at me to her hearts content!
The one great thing about relocating from MD is that we have all the cold weather stuff. Snowpant and snowbibs for kids, snow gloves, and down jackets. We could stay outside forever. We even have glasses (snow is soooo bright). I love snow! It is so much fun and makes you feel like a kid again!

I procrastinate...

...therefore I am. Well, lazy basically. I should be writing chapters for my writing group; I should be cleaning my house; I should be thinking about dinner; I should be napping. Hey, I have an infant.

I feel retarded reading chapters my groupmates have composed. Mostly because of the lack of proper punctuation in my work. I basically vomit words onto a page, and they seem to fit perfectly to me in a sentence. But here's the catch. Nothing is as sterling and perfect once it leaves my head and plops wetly on the page. Eww. Yeah, like far flung spit after a good sneeze. Ok, I grossed myself out.

Heros...

...not the TV show. I am sitting here watching Ellen, they have this guy who saved a subway rider who was having a seizure. The guy had the first seizure and Wesley put a pen in his mouth to stop him biting himself and ten minutes the guy gets up, walks away from him, says nothing, then stumbles to the right and left and then tumbles down onto the tracks with his legs and arms splayed over the tracks. So Wesley jumps down onto the tracks and covers the guy just as a train is entering the platform. The train actually grazed the Wesley's ski cap. It has this smudge on it from the bumper. He was trapped for another 20 minutes while they killed the power to the 3rd rail, which he somehow also missed. All this while the seizure victem was pushing at him to get off him. So he had to pin him down to hold him still so that they would not get executed since they were laying in water. Crazy. Mashallah, there are people out there who think about human life like that...think about others before themselves. And his two young dauthers were on the platform ( the hero's...I think his name is Wesley). How great! It makes me feel light and happy, like people can be nice!

My list of the day...

...always seems to start in my head when I am feeding Deen. I was just sitting here giving him the biojuice, as Waseem calls it, and I started thinking about what I have to do today. Do I have a pen, no, paper...yeah no, umm what to do. Keep repeating the list in your head and hope for the best. Especially with my bad memory. I seem to always have a great list. But howmuch do I actually get done...maybe I need less list and more direction on the things I do. Oh yeah, need to do grocery.

A better me...

...can be found somewhere. I think.
I am conflicted. Is it wrong to feel that I want to continue my education, to a master's degree, even if that degree does not mean big bucks later? I want to help contribute to my family, even while the kids are young, because at some point, they will both be in school, and I will be sitting looking at the wall for many hours.
I guess the point is, I love to write, I have all these stories in my head. I am not sure I am any good at it al all, but I love the fact that I can give it a shot. I can always be a reporter, or edit something. But is this all I am. I would love to teach on the college level, have a great job that makes a difference in someone's life, have a job or career that I can be proud to say is mine.
I guess I worry that if we open up businesses, I will be stuck like my mom was, fleshing out my dad's next business venture, while he moved on to the next idea. There were so many years of new businesses that my mom had to run day in and day out. My dad never worked at them, just thought them up, and it really annoyed my mom. I don't want that. I don't want to be in my retirement age thinking I have really done nothing with my life to enrich it.
So I am conflicted. Stay firm about how much involvement and what kind of involvement I will have in our business, and get some degree that makes it possible to teach even basic college courses, or stay firm and get some job I really love. Or cave and work everyday at something I will do to the best of my ability, but that sucks my soul.
And what if I do write a book and get published, will that be enough to counterbalance that?
Can I have it all? I just don't want to regret my adult life, and close myself off to options while I am still young enough to do them. I always wanted to be called Dr., not the medical kind (can we say math) but the scholarly kind. My mom has her Master's and it really helps in her pay bump and opportunities.
That's it! Some way, some how I will have it all, make money, feel fulfilled in my life, and help my family make money. I can do anything darn it. I am a mother, we multitask before we even get out of bed!

Swearing on a Bible or a Quran...

...what is the difference? If you belive in God, does it matter which book you swear on? OR should you feel free to swear on any. What is the purpose of swearing in a political office with a Bible? Some Minnesota Congressman, a newly-elected Muslim says that he will be swore in with a Quran not a Bible on Jan 4, and some people say that he should step aside if he cannot be sworn in with the "religious book of America".
Ok first has anyone heard of seperation of Church and State.
And of course this begs the question, will this open the dam to other religions books. The Torah, a Wiccan whatever, the Bavad Gita, the Sihk holy book, Taoists, Buddists. If they gain political office here in America, will they also say, I swear allegiance only on my book.
But here is a thought. Who cares? If the citizens on Minnesota (for crying out loud) can elect a Muslim to Congress, do you think they care so much about how he is swore in, or what he does with his time the second after he is sworn in. Big picture vs. little picture...

Metrosexual or well-dressed man...

...which am I trying to turn my hubby into. Well duh! A well dressed man. It is strange for him to think that if a guy leaves his usual long sleeve shirts and jeans (purchased at Walmart) and actually tries on his clothes before tearing off the tags, then he is trying to be a metrosexual.
Don't get me wrong, I love a manly man, not so concerned about his looks that he takes more time than me in the bathroom, but when he gets dressed an looks forever like a luberjack reject (and he did not always look like this) then it does reflect on me and makes me feel like he doesn't have to try, but I do.
Didn't I tell him how he looked? Didn't I purchase new pants or a nice shirt for him? Well of course I did. Changing a man is not easy, that is why they say don't do it. But what if you are just propping him back up. Realigning him to the times when he didn't work at home and had to think about his clothes and make sure they were wear-ready at all times. That they fit, didn't have stains, didn't have fuzzies from overuse.
And I say this. There is nothing wrong with buying nice, manly shirts, sweaters and jeans for your man. Encouraging him to look good, reflects well on you, and makes you feel great when you look at him. So yeah, I am going to continue this fight. This crusade. I will continue to purchase clothes for him, and if they don't fit ( cause I cannot get him to come with me), I will continue to take them back and try again. Cause that is just the way it will be!