NC Snowwww Day...

Ok is it normal for NC to have snow two days after the temp read 73 degrees? And before MD and parts of VA. Freaky right? Thursday we had about an inch. It was Deen's first snow period and Safah's first in NC. She has been wishing for snow for weeks. Ever since it got a little cold here. And now she has it. We went out on the deck and made a small pitiful little snowman! And I let her throw snowballs at me to her hearts content!
The one great thing about relocating from MD is that we have all the cold weather stuff. Snowpant and snowbibs for kids, snow gloves, and down jackets. We could stay outside forever. We even have glasses (snow is soooo bright). I love snow! It is so much fun and makes you feel like a kid again!

I procrastinate...

...therefore I am. Well, lazy basically. I should be writing chapters for my writing group; I should be cleaning my house; I should be thinking about dinner; I should be napping. Hey, I have an infant.

I feel retarded reading chapters my groupmates have composed. Mostly because of the lack of proper punctuation in my work. I basically vomit words onto a page, and they seem to fit perfectly to me in a sentence. But here's the catch. Nothing is as sterling and perfect once it leaves my head and plops wetly on the page. Eww. Yeah, like far flung spit after a good sneeze. Ok, I grossed myself out.

Heros...

...not the TV show. I am sitting here watching Ellen, they have this guy who saved a subway rider who was having a seizure. The guy had the first seizure and Wesley put a pen in his mouth to stop him biting himself and ten minutes the guy gets up, walks away from him, says nothing, then stumbles to the right and left and then tumbles down onto the tracks with his legs and arms splayed over the tracks. So Wesley jumps down onto the tracks and covers the guy just as a train is entering the platform. The train actually grazed the Wesley's ski cap. It has this smudge on it from the bumper. He was trapped for another 20 minutes while they killed the power to the 3rd rail, which he somehow also missed. All this while the seizure victem was pushing at him to get off him. So he had to pin him down to hold him still so that they would not get executed since they were laying in water. Crazy. Mashallah, there are people out there who think about human life like that...think about others before themselves. And his two young dauthers were on the platform ( the hero's...I think his name is Wesley). How great! It makes me feel light and happy, like people can be nice!

My list of the day...

...always seems to start in my head when I am feeding Deen. I was just sitting here giving him the biojuice, as Waseem calls it, and I started thinking about what I have to do today. Do I have a pen, no, paper...yeah no, umm what to do. Keep repeating the list in your head and hope for the best. Especially with my bad memory. I seem to always have a great list. But howmuch do I actually get done...maybe I need less list and more direction on the things I do. Oh yeah, need to do grocery.

A better me...

...can be found somewhere. I think.
I am conflicted. Is it wrong to feel that I want to continue my education, to a master's degree, even if that degree does not mean big bucks later? I want to help contribute to my family, even while the kids are young, because at some point, they will both be in school, and I will be sitting looking at the wall for many hours.
I guess the point is, I love to write, I have all these stories in my head. I am not sure I am any good at it al all, but I love the fact that I can give it a shot. I can always be a reporter, or edit something. But is this all I am. I would love to teach on the college level, have a great job that makes a difference in someone's life, have a job or career that I can be proud to say is mine.
I guess I worry that if we open up businesses, I will be stuck like my mom was, fleshing out my dad's next business venture, while he moved on to the next idea. There were so many years of new businesses that my mom had to run day in and day out. My dad never worked at them, just thought them up, and it really annoyed my mom. I don't want that. I don't want to be in my retirement age thinking I have really done nothing with my life to enrich it.
So I am conflicted. Stay firm about how much involvement and what kind of involvement I will have in our business, and get some degree that makes it possible to teach even basic college courses, or stay firm and get some job I really love. Or cave and work everyday at something I will do to the best of my ability, but that sucks my soul.
And what if I do write a book and get published, will that be enough to counterbalance that?
Can I have it all? I just don't want to regret my adult life, and close myself off to options while I am still young enough to do them. I always wanted to be called Dr., not the medical kind (can we say math) but the scholarly kind. My mom has her Master's and it really helps in her pay bump and opportunities.
That's it! Some way, some how I will have it all, make money, feel fulfilled in my life, and help my family make money. I can do anything darn it. I am a mother, we multitask before we even get out of bed!

Swearing on a Bible or a Quran...

...what is the difference? If you belive in God, does it matter which book you swear on? OR should you feel free to swear on any. What is the purpose of swearing in a political office with a Bible? Some Minnesota Congressman, a newly-elected Muslim says that he will be swore in with a Quran not a Bible on Jan 4, and some people say that he should step aside if he cannot be sworn in with the "religious book of America".
Ok first has anyone heard of seperation of Church and State.
And of course this begs the question, will this open the dam to other religions books. The Torah, a Wiccan whatever, the Bavad Gita, the Sihk holy book, Taoists, Buddists. If they gain political office here in America, will they also say, I swear allegiance only on my book.
But here is a thought. Who cares? If the citizens on Minnesota (for crying out loud) can elect a Muslim to Congress, do you think they care so much about how he is swore in, or what he does with his time the second after he is sworn in. Big picture vs. little picture...

Metrosexual or well-dressed man...

...which am I trying to turn my hubby into. Well duh! A well dressed man. It is strange for him to think that if a guy leaves his usual long sleeve shirts and jeans (purchased at Walmart) and actually tries on his clothes before tearing off the tags, then he is trying to be a metrosexual.
Don't get me wrong, I love a manly man, not so concerned about his looks that he takes more time than me in the bathroom, but when he gets dressed an looks forever like a luberjack reject (and he did not always look like this) then it does reflect on me and makes me feel like he doesn't have to try, but I do.
Didn't I tell him how he looked? Didn't I purchase new pants or a nice shirt for him? Well of course I did. Changing a man is not easy, that is why they say don't do it. But what if you are just propping him back up. Realigning him to the times when he didn't work at home and had to think about his clothes and make sure they were wear-ready at all times. That they fit, didn't have stains, didn't have fuzzies from overuse.
And I say this. There is nothing wrong with buying nice, manly shirts, sweaters and jeans for your man. Encouraging him to look good, reflects well on you, and makes you feel great when you look at him. So yeah, I am going to continue this fight. This crusade. I will continue to purchase clothes for him, and if they don't fit ( cause I cannot get him to come with me), I will continue to take them back and try again. Cause that is just the way it will be!